𝘚𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘡𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘞𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯—𝘚𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘈𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦 & 𝘚𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘋𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦

During these last weeks I have been in Japan, it’s been like a river of fresh water for my soul.

After spending 6 months living in Bali this past winter—and being immersed in strong dynamic shakti energy that the island holds and radiates, at the end of my time there I started to feel that my being needed to go in a different direction. It was time to drink from another source.

It was time to reconnect to a lineage of spirituality that held the qualities of precision, deliberate intention, awareness, spaciousness, contemplation, presence, exactness, discipline, refinement and self mastery.

This spark was ignited actually on the last day I was in Thailand before going back to Bali in the spring, when I had my first Ice Bath by the ocean. Something in my being woke up from the intensity of the cold and facing the uncomfortable. Something in me remembered the value of being with discomfort, and challenging myself to go beyond what feels comfortable and pleasurable.

After being in Bali which is an island saturated with the tone of self love, beauty, nourishment, pleasure, feminine flow, and strong dynamic creative energy; I realized that an aspect of my being needed a different quality and expression to grow and mature—something that Bali wasn’t able to give.

I felt the stirring within my soul to confront myself with discomfort—to honor the essential value of feeling discomfort and moving through it in order to grow, mature and ripen.

We don’t always grow when things are easy, and just like a butterfly in a cocoon, it has to use it’s force and energy to struggle to open its wings and leave the cocoon…strength and power is cultivated when it is tested, and has to go through some resistance to strengthen it’s refinement.

It’s not always about feeling good and comfortable, and I see the value and beauty in inviting in discomfort, which is where true transformation and growth happens. Resilience of spirit does not grow in ease and peace, it grows through moving through adversity and deepening our fortitude.

~ ~ ~

Upon arriving in Japan, I realized that Japan couldn’t be more different than Bali energetically. I would say it’s the exact contrast and polarity to Bali in every way. Here in Japan, there is a strong ancient silence, peacefulness and stillness that permeates the island and culture…its a place of deep resting and ground of being.

Bali in contrast is dynamic, always changing, moving, fluid, catapulting energy of ever-changing jungle life filled with movement, sounds, and colours.

Japan is still, silent, peaceful. If I were to compare it to a picture, Bali would be the painting on the canvas (ie the feminine expression) whereas Japan would be the structure and frame that holds the painting together (ie the masculine expression). The structure that holds the shakti and dynamic expression.

Japanese culture and way of life is largely permeated with influences from Zen. The qualities of spaciousness, silence, simplicity, cleanliness, precision and exactness are strongly interwoven throughout Japanese culture and way of life.

Yet, it’s also one of the only places on this earth where I feel I can truly be in my feminine essence and expression, as the sacred feminine is honoured and respected here in this culture. The qualities of the feminine are honored and not denigrated as they are in western culture. For me, it’s one of the only counties in the world where I feel I can truly blossom and shine fully in my womanhood.

~ ~ ~

After living in the field of Ubud that holds the essence of a strong second chakra energy and expression connected to ecstatic dance, flow, movement, colours, vibrancy, pleasure and sensual aliveness—I really could see that just being saturated in this kind of field can only bring one so far on their path of spiritual development and maturation.

And it’s also easy to fall a sleep in this kind of setting, where one needs a very strong vigilance and torch of awareness to be burning from within.

Through having many encounters with people in Ubud, I also started to see certain patterns. Many people I met while in Ubud were strongly connected to shakti energy, divine feminine movement and expression—dancing, womb awakening, ecstatic dance, sensual embodiment etc were mainly operating from this second chakra dimension of life, and not fully inhabiting the fullness and totality of the integrated dimensions of all parts of our being.

I could see how many were operating solely from their “feelings”, connecting to their “flow”, and were deeply focused on self love and pleasure—yet were not fully confronting themselves in the light of truth, wakefulness and presence. Many subconscious and unconsciousness currents operating, and the quality of the awakened 6th chakra of divine perception, clarity, wisdom, discrimination and being rooted in truth and being able to discriminate falsity from truth within themselves was not fully active.

I started to see an essential component of spiritual maturity and embodiment that was really needed for women on the path of embodying their feminine expression and essence, that is integrated with a healthy union with one’s inner Shiva presence of spaciousness, awareness and penetrating light and clarity. An integration and wholeness.

I see and feel the vital importance for women on their path to truly live the fullness and totality of their being, which is not limited to one expression, but is able to contain the multidimensional expressions of life that we came here to be. To meet our totality wholeheartedly, and live from all 7 dimensions of our being cultivated, activated and enlivened.

To become integrated, whole, mature beings that are here on this Earth to ground the light in the radiance of our feminine expression (when being incarnate in a women’s body for example), and at the same time to be rooted in truth and absolute presence uncompromisingly.

~ ~ ~

I feel that my path is to be a bridge of this embodiment. The feminine radiance, overflowing love, Shakti, expression and flow—united and married to a very strong and clear stillness, silence, presence, clarity and wakefulness of consciousness.

For my own path of self mastery that I am committed to while being incarnate in a woman’s body, it feels very essential for my own path to cultivate the qualities of self discipline, focus, self control, inner presence, and essential strength and power. Qualities that I see embodied in Shaolin monks for example, that radiate this centred presence and mastery.

There is the wild shakti, scintillating dancing light and free flowing feminine nature and Goddess within me—and there is also a very strong disciplined Warrior Monk that lives inside me. Japan is a place that nourishes my inner zen monk and essence…and roots me deeply into the ground of being.

Love, Nicole ❤️