Thank you Berlin for being my playground and training ground the past 6 months. I realized I did 17 Sacred Women Circle’s + Workshops and 5 Sacred Feminine Retreats during this time with over 213+ women from around the world! A total of 22 events during these last months. Synchronistically, it turns out that the number 22 is also my Master Number in numerology; with 22 being the "Master Builder".
6 months ago I was on the island of Kauai, Hawaii. I was standing in the sacred waters of Wai'ale'ale during a 10 hour internal vision quest and journey. I was asking life what my next steps were. In the silence of the valley, I heard a small gentle voice within say clearly: “GO BACK TO BERLIN AND ACTIVATE THE SACRED FEMININE WITHIN WOMEN AND THE CITY". I knew I had to go. I felt this divine calling and mission very strongly. During this time, I was going through many intense experiences and everything had disintegrated in my life that was not a part of my true path. I felt like I was being annihilated and crucified on the cross. I had never experienced such deep pain since I was 19 years old going through my first dark night of the soul period of my life.
Anytime we are not truly on our authentic path, life will come in and burn, dissolve and disintegrate whatever is holding you back from truly living your sacred purpose and service. And boy, did the Goddess come into my life so fiercely to bring me back to my divine mission.
Many people around me told me not to go back to Berlin. A friend and mentor at the time, a woman who I deeply admired and looked up to as a source of inspiration was telling me not to return to Berlin and instead I should continue with my education and do my Ph.D in Spiritual Psychology. She advised me to drop the spiritual world for a bit, and go back into psychology and do my doctorate. Even though I appreciated her guidance, the voice of my own soul spoke to me so strongly…the truth that resided within me was so potent and clear, that I knew I had to follow my own inner voice as opposed to listening to someone else. It takes so much courage to live a life where you follow your own inner guidance, and do not listen to others over your own inner knowing…even when these people might be guides, teachers or people you look up to in someway. The truth is that **ONLY YOU KNOW** what you have to do in this lifetime. Others can point us in directions, yet you must remain sovereign in your own inner authority to your soul.
I went back to Berlin for 1 reason—to share, activate, anchor, embody and ignite the sacred feminine once again.
This work that I have been summoned to do, has been infused with nothing less then Divine Grace. I did not choose this work, it chose me. It called to me. It beckoned me to remember. Because it has been so strongly a “transpersonal” calling (beyond the personal self), it has nourished me and ignited within me so much passion, dedication, commitment, discipline, focus, courage, ease and grace. There is something magical that happens when our actions our aligned with the greater intelligence and wisdom of the universe. When we are serving the greater calls of evolution, evolution supports us 100%. This I know as truth.
A holy man in Kauai once said to me, “The greatest gift is to have more of God to work through you. Real work is allowing God to manifest love through you. If that’s not happening, then its not real work. Get to work—that means to go back to God.” <3
During these past 6 months I was in 6 countries... I travelled from Germany to Switzerland, England, Holland, Denmark and Greece. When I haven’t been doing this work that I love so much, my life in Berlin has been so rich, colorful and full. I have been meeting up with friends…going to the spa/sauna…eating my favorite foods….raw vegan ice-cream, chia bowls, fresh pressed juices and acai bowls. I’ve been painting my White Tara Tibetan Thangka painting. I did a workshop at the Berlin Forever Now Festival and also one in Zurich, Switzerland. I attended a 5 day Tantra Massage Seminar for women in the German countryside. I've taken the time to receive bodywork such as Shiatsu, Lomi Lomi and tantra massage. Did a juice cleanse and went to a Crystal Sauna with healing salt waters. Attended the Deva Premal concert, FemmeQ Conference, and Peruqois's powerful workshop in Amsterdam. I was asked to model for my friend's Ancient Feminine jewelry line launching this summer and had an amazing photoshoot...and I spent a whole month on the magical Greek island of Corfu attending a month long retreat with the Awakening Women Institute. When I was in Berlin this summer, I went into nature and swam in the lakes and did a sweat lodge ceremony for the first time in my life. ALL OF THIS BEAUTY, ABUNDANCE and FULLNESS--opened in my life as a portal through me being true to the higher calling of love that was seeking expression through my being. The form of how this Divine Love has crystalized through me has been through the Sacred Women Circle's and workshops.
From a young age, my mom often could not understand why I was always doing so much. She often told me I do too much. Yet, this is the only way I know how to live…full on….living fully….in a completely expanded state of potentiality and expansion. I feel so much expansion and unlimited potentiality within myself, that there is still so much more to be actualized. So much fire that burns inside me. So much thats meant to take root and fully blossom. Human potential, self actualization and entering the realms of extraordinary have been one of my main passions since I was a young girl. My thirst and hunger.
In essence, what I've learned is that when you have the courage to follow your heart and soul, being led by a higher impetus that serves evolution, humanity and all of life--you will be supported. You will THRIVE. You will overflow in all ways and your life will be a living breathing testament of what is possible. Being in service to God/Life/Goddess/All That Is is the nectar of a life infused with grace...not my will, but thy will be done.
Much love,
Nicole